


is it cool that i said all that? is it too soon to do this yet? ‘cause i know that it’s delicate

by Alice_Prongs



Series: Jily One-Shots [24]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Day 1, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, It's kind of awkward, Jilytober 2019, at least in part, but it's jil and they're completely in love, but just kind of, not really - Freeform, they've just started dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 06:45:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20849213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_Prongs/pseuds/Alice_Prongs
Summary: "You okay, Lily?" James asks, one hand reaching for hers and giving it a slight pull to make her look at him.Lily. It still feels weird to hear him call her that after so many years spent treating each other on a last name basis. It scares her, though, because it also feelsrightwhen he does it. A warmth in her chest that brings heat to her cheeks and a smile to her lips that she can’t seem to get used to. It's only been a week, and she’s struggling, while he acts like he's totally used to it already.She really isn’t.It's only beenoneweek.orjames and lily have been dating for one week. it's hard to get used to it.





	is it cool that i said all that? is it too soon to do this yet? ‘cause i know that it’s delicate

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys, it's jilytober again and i'm here kicking off the series of fics for this month! i've had this one ready for a while now, but i was waiting for this month to start before posting it. i hope you guys like it!
> 
> title is from taylor swift's "delicate"

He catches her staring at him when he looks up from his Charms textbook. _Because of course he would catch her staring, how could he not?_ She looks away, but not before catching the happy grin that appears on his face when he sees it. She's blushing, even though she knows there's no reason for it. Not anymore.

"You okay, Lily?" James asks, one hand reaching for hers and giving it a slight pull to make her look at him.

_Lily_.

It still feels weird to hear him call her that after so many years spent treating each other on a last name basis. It scares her, though, because it also feels _right_ when he does it. A warmth in her chest that brings heat to her cheeks and a smile to her lips that she can’t seem to get used to. It's only been a week, and she’s struggling, while he acts like he's totally used to it already.

She really isn’t.

It's only been _one_ week.

"I'm fine, James."

After a second of looking at her, he smiles and turns back to his book, but she knows the wrinkle that stays between his eyebrows and what it means. He doesn't completely believe her, but he will leave her be for the time being. He’ll ask what's going on with her later.

She understands him too much, knows him too much, and it's only been _one _week.

One week since they had kissed for the eleventh time (yes, she had been counting), standing under a tree on the school grounds. One week since he had looked at her with hair messier than usual from her own hands and with his happiest smile stretched across his face and big eyes full of wonder because she was _there_, in his arms, and smiling just as much as him. One week since he had pressed his lips to hers again and whispered _will you be my girlfriend_ against them. One week since she had smiled even more and kissed him in answer.

One week since Lily Evans had officially become James Potter's girlfriend.

It feels unreal.

She's back at staring at him, because _this_ is what irks her. James is sitting there, working on his Charms essay while she should've been working on her Transfiguration one and they're helping each other like they've done countless times before this year, except this time they're doing it as boyfriend and girlfriend. Instead of only companionable silence and scattered jokes here and there and tips about the proper wand movement, James could raise his head at any moment and lean over the table to give her a kiss and it would be normal. Acceptable. _Welcomed_.

They’re dating now, but Lily isn’t sure she knows how to act like it around him.

It’s been _one_ _week_.

***

Lily is acting weird. She’s trying not to show it, but James can see it in the way she keeps fidgeting, completely unfocused, looking everywhere except the notes in front of her. He's trying to control his nerves and not overreact, but he’s not being very successful. He knew it had been too soon, that he had gotten too excited and gone over the line too fast. His stupid heart had taken control of his mouth and had made him ask her to be his girlfriend after only one month of a few dates and a bunch of kisses. Four dates and eleven kisses, to be exact.

And now his girlfriend of one week wouldn’t even look at him.

She was probably going to dump him, with a sympathetic smile and kind words – because it’s Lily and she’s always kind – that will do nothing to assuage the pain of losing her. And he’ll accept it, with an understanding smile, because he’s James Potter and he would never try to go against her decisions.

“You can say it, you know?” he blurts out, like an idiot. His voice rings out in the quiet library and she startles, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“What?” Lily asks, frowning, and, Merlin, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to handle it. She's beautiful and he’s so in love with her it hurts.

“Whatever it is you want to say,” James tells her, like he doesn’t know what it is already, “you can say it.”

She stares at him for a few seconds, then opens her mouth. He holds his breath.

This is going to hurt.

***

Lily doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but James is putting on the brave face he uses when he actually feels like crap, lips pursed and shoulders tensed.

“James, what are you talking about?” she whispers, leaning over the table towards him.

He closes his eyes forcefully, and she frowns. It’s ironic that he seems to be the one having the meltdown now, but she doesn’t understand why that’s happening.

“James?” she asks again, reaching for his hand like he had done to her before. He opens his eyes and looks up at her.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and Lily’s pretty sure he has tears in his eyes.

“What for?” she asks incredulously.

He shakes his head. “Look, if you’re gonna dump me, please just do it.”

She's so shocked by the words that she can’t help but start laughing. James looks up at her, though, with wide eyes full of hurt behind his glasses and all the humor leaves her. He starts retracting into himself, so she stands up and walks around the table, crouching next to his chair.

“You’re a bloody idiot, Potter,” Lily says, fondness dripping from her voice.

He doesn’t seem to notice it as his shoulders tense up.

“Hey,” she calls him, her hands reaching for his once again. She squeezes them, trying to get him to look at her. He does, and Lily doesn’t think she’s ever seen him looking so insecure. It makes her uneasy. “I’m not dumping you, James.”

He doesn’t answer right away, his eyes searching her face frantically. “Are you sure?”

She laughs again. “Yes, I’m sure. Where the hell did you get the idea that I'd do that?”

“You were acting weird. What was I supposed to think?”

She gulps. So, maybe she had been a little obvious about it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

James looks at her again, frowning. “What’s going on?”

Lily presses her lips tightly together, unsure if she should tell him. He pulls on her hands this time, making her get up and sit on his lap. His hands envelop her lower back, the tenderness in the touch making her flush.

“Tell me,” he whispers, and the worry and fondness and earnestness in his voice give her no other alternative.

Lily takes a deep breath, focusing on the feeling of his thumbs drawing circles on her lower back.

“I was just… Feeling weird,” she starts. James looks at her like she’s saying the most important thing in the world and it makes her want to kiss him (she always wants to kiss him). She needs to finish this first, though. “We’ve been dating for one week only and…” Lily stops and glances at him.

She can’t read him, for once.

“Oh,” he lets out, and it sounds like he’s broken.

***

James knew it. So maybe Lily wasn’t going to break up with him, but this conversation was definitely not going to end well.

He starts letting go of her. Maybe he was putting too much pressure on her by keeping her so close, maybe she was feeling uncomfortable, maybe she’d rather stay away from him.

“Okay, stop freaking out,” she exclaims, turning on his lap (in a way that requires him to take deep breaths not to react) and holding his face in her hands.

James looks up at her and, Merlin, she’s perfect. Lily stares at him with pure determination in her eyes that are almost shining and so, _so_ _green,_ and he’s so gone on her it’s kind of ridiculous.

“Are you calmer now? Because I’m going to speak and it’s going to be embarrassing so I need you to pay attention because I only want to say it once,” she says, speaking fast, words jumbling together.

Her cheeks are red and he can’t help but lean in and press a quick kiss to her right one.

“Okay,” he tells her, and goes back to admiring just how beautiful she is.

Lily inhales deeply, shaking her head as if she’s building up her courage. “We’ve been dating for only one week, James, and – don’t you dare interrupt me – that’s not a bad thing. I just…” She closes her eyes briefly and he waits, knowing that she’d make him regret it if he interrupted her again. “I’m not used to it yet. We’ve spent so many years at each other’s throats that it’s hard for me to let go of it sometimes.”

Oh. Okay, then.

James stares at her, waiting to make sure she’s done, before saying, “Okay.”

She fumbles a bit and starts talking again. “And I’m not trying to break up with you. I _really_ don’t want to do that. Especially since, you know, I really like you.” Lily's blushing again and he’s pretty sure that if he doesn’t kiss her soon, he’ll die. “I’m just having a bit of a hard time dealing with all of it.”

He doesn’t really know what to say. Lily starts to fidget.

“I swear you didn’t do anything. This is all about me and my issues,” she says, finally, and then looks down.

James doesn’t know if he should cry in relief or laugh in disbelief. He settles into a mixture of both as he sinks his face in her hair, feeling his eyes tear up as a few chuckles escape his lips.

“So, what you’re telling me is that we're both ridiculous and insecure, is that it?” he says and feels her laughing as well, her chest rumbling against him.

“I guess so,” Lily says and he pulls back to look at her and finally, finally, kiss her.

It doesn’t last long, a simple press of lips because they’re in the middle of the library and they probably should keep that in mind, but it’s enough to make his heart flutter in his chest and warmth take over his entire body. James is really fucking in love with her.

“By the way,” he tells her as they're sitting there, foreheads pressed to each other, breathing the same oxygen. “I get it. I’m not used to being your boyfriend as well. I guess I was used to fancying you from afar, it feels weird that we get to be like this now.”

Lily looks at him, green eyes shining, and smiles. “It does, doesn’t it?”

He grins. “I guess we’ll learn how to deal with this together.”

She kisses him and it’s like it’s the first time all over again, the fireworks exploding inside of him.

***

After a while, Lily and James disentangled themselves with a few giggles and she went back to the other side of the table. They went back to studying, sharing smiles over their books, both of their faces flushed. His lips were kiss-swollen and his hair was more messed up than normal and she really wanted to drag him away from this library and not let him go for hours.

Lily’s pretty sure she’ll have a lot of fun learning how to date James Potter if every day is like this.

If every _kiss_ is like this.

She’ll never tell him that, though. She can’t risk having his head grow so big it doesn’t fit through the door.


End file.
